My 11 year-old grandson has been wrestling for several years now. His father is really into it. Sometimes I wondered how much Sam was into it, but this last weekend, I saw firsthand his dedication to the sport.
Now, this is not one of my favorite sports. For many years, as the wrestling season ground its way into spring, I saw too many normal high school boys morph into thin, slow-moving shadows of their former selves who couldn't stay awake in class and were afraid to drink water because it would be sucked into their dehydrated cells and cause them not to make weight. I know, I know, things have supposedly changed and draconian methods for making weight are frowned upon now. But I also know that it's easier to wrestle down than up. Some things never change.
But back to Sam. He is a skinny kid, not tall for his age - in fact, he's pretty short for a sixth-grader, but he is wiry, strong, and determined. When he sets his mind to something, he concentrates only on that one thing. An example occurred at my son's wedding about a year and a half ago. Sam sprang out onto the dance floor and exhibited a wealth of moves that would make any dancer proud. He knew all the new steps and looked like a pro in his kakis and white shirt. In fact, he was mesmerizing - where had this dancing fool come from? His parents, grandparents, uncles and in-laws were amazed. We had no idea he was a dancer - no idea at all. He was so good that he had all the kids and some of the grownups lined up behind him copying his routine. What a show it was. And he was oblivious of his following. He was into his dancing, twisting, turning, dipping, bouncing, stepping, and spinning. His eyes were focused somewhere far away, his face was red, dripping with sweat; his hair looked like he had just shampooed it, but he was unstoppable - he was deep into the dancing zone. It was a revelation to his family - a totally delightful surprise.
So the kid has focus. And when he wrestles, that focus makes him an impressive competitor. He took care of his first opponent in 1 minute 40 seconds - pin! His second match was with the kid who pinned him last year. I don't know a lot about wrestling moves, but the points kept adding up for one kid and I was pretty sure it was Sam. I was taking pictures and yelling and generally having a fine time watching Sam do a creditable job on the mat. The man next to me seemed to be rooting for the other kid so I asked him if he was the boy's dad. "No," he said, "I'm his uncle."
"Oh, I'm his opponent's grandmother."
"I gathered that," he said with a smile.
Anyway, soon the score read 6 - 0 and Sam had won. It was a hard fought match. The other kid was taller with longer legs that made it hard for Sam to manhandle him, or whatever they call the grabbing and twisting and flopping the opponent onto the mat. But Sam won and my neighbor asked, "What grade is your grandson in?"
"Sixth," I replied.
"Oh" was the only answer I got to that. I think he was disappointed that Sam wasn't in seventh grade so he could say his nephew got beaten by an older kid. But the 74 pound weight class is the 74 pound weight class and Sam is a sixth grader anyway. So there, Mr. Uncle. My grandson beat your nephew and that's the way it is. Both boys had enormous goose-eggs on their foreheads from when their skulls had crashed into each other. Ouch. Sam wore his as a badge of pride - the other kid cried.
Wrestling still isn't my favorite sport, and I worry about Sam's scrawny neck getting injured, but it was interesting to see him compete. He is good at this sport and he wants to win. His grandfather said that he had learned a lot since this meet last year.
The second day of the meet wasn't the best for Sam. He got pinned in his first match, but came back in his second to win that one. He didn't give up - what an important characteristic to have in life as well as sport. He was in the Parade of Champions; he got onto the podium. In his third match on Sunday, he got hurt and lost the match. His mother says his knee is extremely swollen, but at least he can walk on it. That's the 8th best wrestler in Ohio in the junior high 74 pound weight class limping on that swollen knee. And I'm a proud grandma even if wrestling still isn't my favorite sport.
Most of the poems about wrestling were simple doggerel, but Willie Madison had a nice one on his website, Here is is:
Battle In The Circle by Willie Madison
A Circle is my battlefield
Where I fight to survive with out a sword or shield
A war zone where no one gets killed
But where dreams are destroyed and some are revealed
Technique and hard work are my weapons of choice
It’s just me and the sound of my coach’s voice
I’m a soldier with the desire to win
So give me a opponent and let the battle begin
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Thinking about sex lately, in a kind of intellectual way
I've been thinking a lot about sex lately. Possibly this train of thought was inspired by Dr. Christiane Northrup's presentation on "Think TV" (not always an oxymoron), about menopause and all that precedes and post dates it. She was a compendium of information, some of which I already knew simply because I have already gone through it. She treated the topic tastefully and with humor. She was fun to listen to. But when she got to the last part of her speech - the sex talk- she had even more interesting things to say.
First of all, she enjoined her audience to forget about the myth that older people don't enjoy or engage in sex. If you're healthy, you want it, can have it, and will enjoy it, she said. Well I paraphrase a bit, but that is the gist. Whew, I'm normal, I thought. I wonder how long it will be enjoyable. "For a long, long time," she said. Hmmm, that's nice, I thought.It may not be a spiritual, transcendent experience anymore, but I've had that and good romp is worth just as much to me as an out-of-body experience nowadays.
Then Dr. Northrup pointed to her head and said, "Sexiness is up here. It's not a matter of the heart; it's a matter of the head." If you don't feel sexy, you won't be sexy. Ah, I do know that one. Perception is all. So she ordered us pre-, post-, and menopausal women to stand in front of a mirror every day for two minutes and say, "I am a vital, attractive woman. I accept myself completely as I am." Or something like that. She then said for the PhD version of that, do it with all your clothes off.
My girlfriends howled when I told them that and that got my mind off sex and onto another aspect of aging. Girlfriends. A group of girlfriends who have known each other for years and still like each other is an invaluable gift of age. We know each others' histories - the unsuitable men, the awful hairstyles and hair colors, the jobs that drove us crazy, our dreams, our children and their foibles, our grandchildren and their perfection. Who else but a long-time girlfriend can make exactly the right face when you mention your long-divorced first husband? That's a real bond when she knows exactly what you had to go through to become the person you now are. A mother does not know you this intimately, but a girlfriend knows things that your mother does not. And that is a good thing because a girlfriend didn't have a mother's expectations. A girlfriend loves you just the way you are - or she wouldn't still be your friend.
When we get this old, (let's just say we are Boomers), we don't hang around with people we don't like. We have dropped them by the wayside as we evolved. When we get this old, we say what is in our heads. We may be polite or maybe a little bit tactful if the situation demands it, but we do tell it like it is. We don't care if people disagree, and it isn't a matter of thinking we are always right. We just say what we think and let it lie there. No big deal.
I was feeling very lucky the day we discussed looking at ourselves naked in the mirror. Lucky that I have these women in my life. They know me so well and they are still my friends. We can share chocolate, drink tea together, commiserate on life's tricks, enjoy good things that happen to each other, laugh raucously, and communicate volumes with an archly raised eyebrow. They know what is meant by that look - words are not necessary.
So from sex to the joys of friendship. Gee, at my age, with a long-time partner I guess sex is a joy of friendship. See? Now I'm back to thinking of sex again. There are worse things to think of, I suppose.
I've always considered Erma Bombeck to be a girlfriend. She didn't know me, but I knew her through her comedy routines and her one-liners about being a mom, wife, mother. To honor women and Erma, here are a few of her quotes:
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
-- Erma Bombeck
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-rearing, they are unemployed.
-- Erma Bombeck
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, "What light?" and two more to say, "I didn't turn it on."
-- Erma Bombeck
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop offs at tedium and counter productivity.
-- Erma Bombeck
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
-- Erma Bombeck
First of all, she enjoined her audience to forget about the myth that older people don't enjoy or engage in sex. If you're healthy, you want it, can have it, and will enjoy it, she said. Well I paraphrase a bit, but that is the gist. Whew, I'm normal, I thought. I wonder how long it will be enjoyable. "For a long, long time," she said. Hmmm, that's nice, I thought.It may not be a spiritual, transcendent experience anymore, but I've had that and good romp is worth just as much to me as an out-of-body experience nowadays.
Then Dr. Northrup pointed to her head and said, "Sexiness is up here. It's not a matter of the heart; it's a matter of the head." If you don't feel sexy, you won't be sexy. Ah, I do know that one. Perception is all. So she ordered us pre-, post-, and menopausal women to stand in front of a mirror every day for two minutes and say, "I am a vital, attractive woman. I accept myself completely as I am." Or something like that. She then said for the PhD version of that, do it with all your clothes off.
My girlfriends howled when I told them that and that got my mind off sex and onto another aspect of aging. Girlfriends. A group of girlfriends who have known each other for years and still like each other is an invaluable gift of age. We know each others' histories - the unsuitable men, the awful hairstyles and hair colors, the jobs that drove us crazy, our dreams, our children and their foibles, our grandchildren and their perfection. Who else but a long-time girlfriend can make exactly the right face when you mention your long-divorced first husband? That's a real bond when she knows exactly what you had to go through to become the person you now are. A mother does not know you this intimately, but a girlfriend knows things that your mother does not. And that is a good thing because a girlfriend didn't have a mother's expectations. A girlfriend loves you just the way you are - or she wouldn't still be your friend.
When we get this old, (let's just say we are Boomers), we don't hang around with people we don't like. We have dropped them by the wayside as we evolved. When we get this old, we say what is in our heads. We may be polite or maybe a little bit tactful if the situation demands it, but we do tell it like it is. We don't care if people disagree, and it isn't a matter of thinking we are always right. We just say what we think and let it lie there. No big deal.
I was feeling very lucky the day we discussed looking at ourselves naked in the mirror. Lucky that I have these women in my life. They know me so well and they are still my friends. We can share chocolate, drink tea together, commiserate on life's tricks, enjoy good things that happen to each other, laugh raucously, and communicate volumes with an archly raised eyebrow. They know what is meant by that look - words are not necessary.
So from sex to the joys of friendship. Gee, at my age, with a long-time partner I guess sex is a joy of friendship. See? Now I'm back to thinking of sex again. There are worse things to think of, I suppose.
I've always considered Erma Bombeck to be a girlfriend. She didn't know me, but I knew her through her comedy routines and her one-liners about being a mom, wife, mother. To honor women and Erma, here are a few of her quotes:
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
-- Erma Bombeck
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-rearing, they are unemployed.
-- Erma Bombeck
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, "What light?" and two more to say, "I didn't turn it on."
-- Erma Bombeck
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop offs at tedium and counter productivity.
-- Erma Bombeck
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
-- Erma Bombeck
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