Thoughts about impending shoulder surgery

Well, of course I waited too long to go to the doctor about the pain in my shoulder. A car door smashed into my shoulder seven months ago and I wanted to give it a good chance to heal.It seemed to get a little better in a couple of months, but then the pain increased, interfering with long rides on my bike. After three hours on the bike, my arm throbbed with pain from the wrist up to the shoulder. After another couple of months of this, I shortened my rides but that was unacceptable. What with hiking trips and other summer fun, I did not visit the doc until six months had elapsed from the car door incident.

The doc put me into therapy because he figured it was a minor tear in the labrum - definitely not rotator cuff problems. After three weeks of therapy the pain was worse. Back to the doc who ordered a special kind of MRI called an arthrogram during which dye is injected into the shoulder to be able to visualize the tear in the labrum. Dye is not needed for rotator cuff tears, but is necessary to see the labrum tear. The doctor who injected the dye let me watch on the xray screen and I saw the dye seep downward as I felt an uncomfortable sensation.

The MRI was interesting. Even though they put me into the tube only up to my hips, I had them put a white towel over my eyes. I figured I wouldn't be so freaked if I couldn't see the apparatus encasing me. After 30 minutes of pops, hisses, grinding sounds, knockings like an irate poltergeist and vibrations shaking me a bit, the MRI was over. I thought it quite funny that the technician cautioned me not to move. I didn't move. The whole bed was shaking from the machine. Anyway, the experience was finally over and I collected my CD of Eva Cassidy they suggested I bring along for my listening pleasure. With all the noise, I couldn't hear Eva at all. In fact, at first I thought they were playing someone else's CD because I couldn't recognize the songs. I guess they need a better CD player.

So the upshot is that I have a full thickness tear in my supraspinatus muscle - one of those muscles of the rotator cuff. I opted to wait until after Christmas for the surgery since you pretty much cannot move the arm for about two months except for when you are in therapy. And we all know what they do to you there so the less said about that, the better. I delayed because I wanted to make sure I could still put on a great Christmas for the kids and grandkids. Now I wonder if I was smart about this: it hurts more each day and I lose a bit more use of the arm each day. I want to be sure that I get it done in December to take advantage of my deductible which I have exceeded, finally. If I get sick and have to push the operation back to January, I will have to pay $1500 more. So I'm staying healthy, healthy, healthy.

Several people I know have had this surgery and they are filling my head with how difficult it is to get along after it. No driving for a month but you have to get to therapy twice a week. That's a bit of a challenge. The arm is in a sling which holds it away from the body and you cannot move that arm. After a while, you can take a shower and let it dangle down as you scrub yourself with only one hand. How do you scrub the armpit of the arm that has the soap in that hand? How do you shave either armpit since you can't raise one arm and you can't force your wrist to twist backward to shave the good arm's pit? How do you pull on pants with one hand? Or put on socks, zip jeans, blow dry your hair, open jars in the kitchen, put on pjs? One woman said I will be surprised by how ingenious I get at figuring out how to do all these mundane but necessary chores. I can hardly wait.

I bought two huge flannel shirts at Goodwill so I could stay warm - can't put anything on over my head as that would necessitate raising the operated arm above my shoulder, a definite no-no. I have plenty of elastic waistband workout pants so I'm good to go there. A bra? Ha!

Even with all the post-operative challenge, I am ready to do this and get on with my therapy. With one arm that doesn't work, I feel like I am living only a partial life. I cannot lift weights and even spinning (indoor cycling workout) puts stress on the shoulder so it is a bit unpleasant. But I want to get back to fully living so I will faithfully do my therapy no matter how painful it is. I refuse to own a shoulder that doesn't work - one that will hinder me. So there it is: I want the surgery and will work like the dickens to get back to normal afterward. I did it with my pelvis and I can do it with my shoulder. So bring it on, Dr. Cha, I am ready for you and your arthroscopic devices.

Geoffrey Hoffman has some thoughts about surgery also:


A SONG OF OPERATIONS (WITH APOLOGIES TO FLANDERS AND SWANN)


I had a little cataract.
I saw life through a cloud.
I felt that I was destined for
An inexpensive shroud;
And then they operated.
The sun seemed brighter then,
And I had to wear dark glasses
To make it dim again.
Today for operations
I’m as eager as can be.
Count me among the faithful fans
Of ophthalmology.

I had a second cataract.
It drove me quite insane.
I felt enthusiastic for
Eye surgery again.
I did not fear the scalpel;
No, not one tiny bit.
They gave me an appointment -
And then they cancelled it.
At last my operation came
And I was filled with glee.
I’m still among the faithful fans
Of optic surgery.

I’d love another cataract.
I wish I had a third.
I long for the excitement, though
I know it’s quite absurd.
And then I had a tummy ache.
I was more cheerful then:
They took me into hospital
And cut me up again.
These doctors are so clever.
They bring such joy to me.
Count me among the faithful fans
Of hos-pi-tal-i-ty.


My heart was feeling rather odd.
I didn’t feel too good.
They gave me an aorta, that
Was made of balsa wood.
Just one prick of the needle:
I fell asleep; and then,
While they were operating, I
Was awake again.
Ophthalmic operations
Can help a patient see;
So why do I have doubts about
Cardiology?

I had a little headache, and
Had surgery again.
They thought the best thing they could do
Was to replace my brain.
That was an operation -
The best I ever had!
They said they had to do it,
Because I was quite mad.
And now I feel more cheerful.
There’s nothing wrong with me
That surgery can’t remedy -
Just mild insanity.