Do We Build our Own Pens?

   I was thinking about traps the other day. About how we can trap ourselves slowly and subtlely and don't even know it. Do you know the story about how you catch a wild pig? If you set out food in a pen, of course he will not go for it. But if you put it in the open, he will come to eat it after a time.  When he gets used to finding and eating the food in the same place, you put up one section or line of fence nearby. Later on you put up another part of the pen so you have two connected pieces of fence. A bit later, you put up the third side of the pen. Piggy still will come for the food.  After a while, you just put up the last part of the pen but leave an opening. Piggy saunters right in and you close up the fence while he chows down.  Now, that takes some time, but it is effective.
    Sometimes, I think we do the same thing to ourselves. Well, I was really thinking about celebrities, but I think regular people trap themselves also.  First, let's take a celebrity who has more money than sense. Maybe she is a Kardashian.  I only see a Kardashian once in a while on those TV shows whose purpose is to celebritize celebrities. Anyway, I have noticed that, according to those shows, the Kardashians now have an empire encompassing many products that bring in lucre for the family.  In order to sell more stuff, the sisters K have to go places where they are seen dressed in expensive, if not tasteful, clothing. They produce much-publicized weddings that last about five minutes, but they get to put on one hell of a wedding and party, complete with incredible dresses, presents, food, ambiance, wide-spread publicity and lots of other celebrities. If their brand seems to be losing its luster, they create a story that goes viral and garners them more publicity. They have to be seen. They have to do outlandish things to continue getting publicity. They have to live up to their brand. It is a self-perpetuating cycle and sooner or later they will want off the merry-go-round. But if they jump off, all the fun is over, not to mention the money. So they are trapped in a construction of their own making. When the reality show started, they thought that fame and fortune were all they wanted. But after a time, doesn't it seem a bit empty? Too late - if they want to continue to live in the style which they have created and which they have become accustomed to, they must maintain the madness. Trapped. And they are not the only ones in this state.
   How do normal people trap themselves? They allow themselves to live in a rut. They do the same things, eat the same foods, associate with the same people. They believe they are good at some things but that they cannot do other things. They allow themselves to live within barriers of their own creation. This can take an infinite variety of forms: "I am a good mother.  A good mother never lets  her children down." This kind of mother will neglect her own needs for her children. How noble, but how unhealthy.  Or "I am a great bread-winner for my family." This man (or woman) needs to be seen as providing everything needed or wanted by their children and spouse. Work, work - make money.  Make more money. This means they cannot be with the family for much of the everyday activities that make up their children's lives. They miss out on their kids' activities, accomplishments, recitals, sports games. Too late, the provider understands that he/she has placed him or herself inside a pen. He is simply the provider, not the loving parent or spouse. How does he get himself out of this?
   We are all subject to trapping ourselves whether it is the trap of the mind or of action. I hope we can recognize the signs before we become too ensnared. That takes vigilance, doesn't it?

Emily Dickinson knew something about captivity.


I never hear the word "escape"
Without a quicker blood,
A sudden expectation
A flying attitude!

I never hear of prisons broad
By soldiers battered down,
But I tug childish at my bars
Only to fail again!